Andai Aku Telah Dewasa

Baru ganti koleksi lagu MP3 di Player ku... Terus tadi dibis disepanjang jalan ke kantor aku dengerin hasil nggak ada kerjaan ku kemarin malem. Ada satu lagu yang menyentilku:

Andai aku t'lah dewasa
Apa yang ku katakan
Untukmu idolaku tersayang
Ayah... oh... oh...
Andai usiaku berubah
Kubalas cintamu
Bunda... pelitaku
Penerang jiwaku dalam setiap waktu
O... O... Ku tahu kau berharap
Dalam do'amu Ku tahu kau berjaga
Dalam langkahku Ku tahu s'lalu cinta
Dalam senyummu Oh Oh Tuhan Kau kupinta...
Bahagiakan mereka sepertiku
Andai aku t'lah dewasa
Ingin aku persembahkan
Semurni cintamu, setulus kasih sayangmu
Kau s'lalu ku cinta.....

Inget nggak lagu apa? Jadi ingat zaman jaya jayaku, masa jahiliahku di tahun 1999, saat masih jadi mahasiswi angkatan termuda di kampus. Aku jadi ingat sama penyanyi kecil, manis, lucu... bernama Sherina.
Sampai kantor dan punya akses ke internet langsung aku cari liriknya. Sempat kecewa karena nggak ketemu. Ternyata salah judul... Dengan yakinnya di Google aku cari Sherina + lirik + "Andai aku tlah dewasa". Ternyata judulnya Andai aku besar nanti ya....

Do you think that song is only relevant gor children. Children in my definition are people who still wear uniform, still have to go to school 5 hours a day, and still live with their parents. But may be, the definition of children from the eyes of parents are people who were born from their love, who are beloved and are cared by them.

I'm geeting older. I'm getting much more independent days by days. I can live without my parents physically, especially in the dimenssion of distance, since now I live in a half world distance away from my parents. I should be able to start building a new family and have my own children as well.

However...
How indepentent I am, where ever I live, what ever I make... Eventhough I feel that I've been already mature, I miss my parents still and always. I still want to sleep with my mother. I am still longing for my mother knocking my room, gossiping together, and saying goodnight when I am getting asleep.

My idols is also my father. In my eyes he is a type of successful person, hardworker, familiy man. I want to have a man like him to be my husband. Actually, I am not that close to him. I mean I rarely can express my feeling to him. Or in return, he always had my mother ask me when he wanted to know how well I was and when he discovered something wrong had happened on me. I can never preise him so that he is willing buying me something I want. Even untill now... It continue goes like it. He is typish Indonesian father who works outside home from 8 to 5. He has very little amount of word. But, inside his silent, I know how care he is and how he loves me. I know he bet everything he has for me to be success. I am always in his pray. He always took me to the school fom the time I was in the Kindergarden ever since until when I was in the highschool. Then we were separated since I studied in Bandung and have to drive my self to my campus.

Do you agree with the statement "How far you've been traveling, you will end up coming back to your ownland." The next questions are... what is land? The place where you were born? The place where your family lives? or The place that you fell where your heart belongs to?....

Walau banyak negri ku jalani

Yang mashyur permai di kata orang

Tetapi kampung... halaman ku

Disanalah ku rasa senang

Bener nggak seh?
Aku membuktikannya...
Seenak enaknya di Jerman... tetap aku berniat pulang ke Indonesia.
Sesemerawut apa pun Indonesia... tetap aku nggak mau menghabiskan masa tuaku di negeri orang.
Se-welcome apapun Jerman padaku.. tetap aku merasa asing, dan merasa berbeda setiap aku menoleh ke kanan dan ke kiri.

Oh.. what am I doing? Starting morning with blogging... welcoming my computer with hesitation... Hope I can burn my spirit to end this day.

Have a nice day everyone!!!